dating-after-divorce

Dating After a Divorce: Where to Start

I received another dating question from my reader. She wrote:

Hi, Nina!

I would like to ask you a question. I’m divorced and want to get out there, but I don’t know how anymore. It’s been 11 years since I’ve dated. Where do I start?

Sheryl

 

Hi!

Thank you for your question, Sheryl.

Is it really so unknown? You were once there before. Did the territory change so much that you wouldn’t recognize it?

I was dating on and off for the last 15 years, and one thing I noticed was how dating game didn’t change a bit. Sure, tools did, but the dating game itself didn’t. And listening to my aunt who is single too, I see it doesn’t matter if you are 20 or 50 – when it comes to dating you act the same.

In my opinion, dating is like riding a bicycle. Once you know how to do it you don’t forget it. You can be rusty, yes, but after two kilometres you are back on track. Trust me on this one. Just this week I cycled again after… Uh, is it 18 years already? How did that happen? I love cycling!

Dating is like riding a bicycle. Once you know how to do it you don’t forget it. Click To Tweet

Anyway, my point is you don’t have to fret about not knowing how to date anymore. Just go on a date open minded and have fun, and the rest will come to you in no time.

The other question is where to start. Well, the obvious answer in 2016 would be… Online.

 

Online Dating

Online dating lost a lot of its stigma in recent years. As much as 59% of Americans think online dating is a good way to meet people. I think that too, since I’ve met my significant other this way.

Does it really work, or are there only perverts online? It works all right! Percentage of marriages in the last year in which the couple met on a dating site is 17%. Not too shabby, huh?

 

Parties

Go out with friends. Show up on their birthday parties, picnics, and other get-togethers. Yes, yes, you don’t feel like going. But very rarely a lover will fall into your lap while you will lie on a couch watching your favourite show.

Sometimes it happens, though. I have a friend who was renovating her home. She needed professional help, so she called a handyman. The rest is history. But the chance for that is one in a million. Do you feel lucky enough?

 

Events

Attend the events you are interested in, for example art exhibit openings, book readings, wine routes, medieval or other thematic days and so on. I think that is a wonderful way to meet people who share your interests, which is vital for forming a lasting relationship.

 

Classes

Another great way to meet people with common interests. Language course, dance class, cooking class, scuba diving… Uuu, Toastmasters meetings, if you want to practice public speaking.

Wonderful opportunities for meeting the love of your life and forming lasting friendships. Plus you learn new things along the way!

 

Working out

At a local gym, jogging in the park, or hiking. But be sure exercise is your thing, though. Otherwise you will land on a sport enthusiast and you will have to jog E.V.E.RY. S.I.N.G.L.E. D.A.Y. For the rest of your life. Are you ready for that?

 

Dog Parks

Dog parks are not very popular in my country. Actually, we don’t have a lot of them. But I saw one nice dog park when I was visiting Sydney. It has a little dog bar where dogs can get dog cappuccino and dog biscuits and all sorts of other dog snacks, but also humans can get a cup of coffee. There is a perfect setting to meet new people.

 

Events for Singles

Speed dating, match dating, dance classes for singles, cruises for singles… The sky is the limit! I always had a lot of fun on these events, but I found out not all people were so comfortable. I asked my single friend why, and she replied she felt ashamed to be single. Nothing to be ashamed about, everybody is single there!

 

Sheryl, I hope you got some interesting idea for yourself. The most important thing is that you have fun whatever you choose. Keep us posted!

 

My lovely, do you have another suggestion for Sheryl? Share it with us in the comments below.

 

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12 Comments

  1. I love these suggestions, specially when you talked about making sure you love what you are doing. I believe you find your soulmate while doing activities you love, rather than putting yourselves through activities you don’t. Great article!

  2. I agree that threw ourselves out into the social events will give us more chance to meet our life partner. I also realize that we dont have to be social just for the sake of hook-up, but to have fun and meet new friends. Nevertheless, you do not know where it leads you. That is the myth. Nice dating suggestions anyway!

  3. Going thru a divorce after 30 yrs. I am fine though. Been coming a long time for me. I met a few guys on FB, 1 was a bug phoney. I found out they r a group of men from Hatti looking to rob lonely women if their $$$. U caught on real quick baby! I say it’s OK to be a young Fool but to be an old Fool means u have learned Nothing. I have a Book coming out & a informational Website launching soon. People say eHarmony is the best paying site. I don’t know where to start. To old for games want someone serious, a friendship leading to marriage. Can u help!

    • Jacquelyn, thank you for pointing out the scammers problem! Yes, in online dating we have to be wary of them. And catfishes. If we are careful enough we can spot them in time and weed them out.

      You can send me a message to nina@ninaobran.com.

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