I know some singles are struggling with their relationship status and/or their environment. As I’ve explained in this post, they are dealing with inner and outer pressure of being single. But I was curious, what is the number one struggle they are facing as singles.
So I’ve asked my readers what is bothering them the most about being single, and the most common answer I got was fear of being alone. The fear of not having someone there when you needed them for emergency, or to talk to when you were happy or sad. The fear of eating alone. Raising children alone. The fear of not being needed. Or wanted. Or loved.
The Meaning We Give to the Fear of Being Alone
Fear of being alone is so big and scary to us. Because of it we make decisions that are not in our best interest, forget about our dream relationships and settle for ‘good enough’ partners. Guess what happens next. Either we silently suffer our entire life, or we get separated yet again.
Is this what you want for yourself?
Of course not. So, what is the reason you yield to the fear of being alone and go against your true wishes?
Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell, the author of Single Is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘Till It’s Right, says because we buy into the fallacy that being alone means three objectionable things:
- I’m alone because I’m unlovable,
- I’m alone because no one wants me, and
- Since I’m alone now, I will be alone forever.
Do you understand now, why the fear is so enormous?
How to Deal with the Fear of Being Alone
In order for you to live happily ever after with a loving partner of your dreams you have to tackle this fear of being alone. I’m sorry, there is no other way. You have to grab the bull by its horns and bravely face the fear.
Take a look at each sentence above and think about it. Is it really true? Are you really unlovable? Does nobody love you? What about your mother and father? Your family? Friends? Co-workers? Neighbours? So you are lovable after all!
And I’m sure somebody wants you. There are more than 7 billion people in the world, you know. You don’t know what every single one of them is thinking about you (nothing, actually, because you don’t give them a chance to meet you).
I bet you were thinking you would be alone forever after every break up, right? But still you found another partner who wanted you by their side, because you were lovable to them (see what I did there?). Besides, some people are late bloomers, me included. I can attest it is worth to wait, instead of rush into mediocre relationship just because you think you would be alone otherwise.
Do you know what we say about fear in my country?Fear is hollow inside, but around it there is nothing. Click To Tweet
In case the proverb didn’t do anything for you, here are some other fear-busters to help you get over it.
All the best to you!
What are your tactics to deal with fear? Share your thoughts with me in the comments!