Would you agree feeling good is essential for obtaining a loving relationship? Simply put, if you feel good, you act in a friendly, loving and kind-hearted manner, and people react to you in the same way.
On the other hand, if you feel like crap, you act like crap, and people react to you as such. And that is not the place you want to be, isn’t that right?
If you feel you are unworthy of a loving meaningful relationship; if you believe you are no good and deserve to be punished, or if you believe nice things just can’t happen to you, guess what?
Every day I find a proof of what I’m saying in my professional life working with victims of domestic violence. I’m observing them jumping from one abusive relationship to another not knowing what they did wrong to deserve their miserable life.
They did nothing wrong. The right question is what they didn’t do. They didn’t take care of themselves.
We all have to take care of ourselves first. Yes, even you. Even if you have children. Because only after you take care of yourself, you become a happy joyful person. You spread joy and happiness all around you, and in return you receive them more and more from other people.
That is the time to start a new relationship.
Being happy and joyful is the only guarantee for you to meet a life partner of your dreams, a partner that will love, support, and respect you. That is exactly what I want. How about you?Only after you take care of yourself, you become a happy joyful person. - Nina Obran Click To Tweet
“But, Nina, I can’t shift how I feel just like that! I can’t smile when life is falling apart. I would only fool myself!” you raise your voice in outrage.
Ok, ok, calm down. You have a point. But you don’t have to change your mood right away. Au contraire! I suggest you to build it slowly. That is how you will have great foundations even when times will be tough.
How can you start?
There are many tools you can use to lift your mood one step at a time. You can listen to uplifting music with soothing rhythms and pleasant lyrics. You can even sing or play it yourself. You can do other creative work like painting, writing, making jewellery, candles, or soap.
You can occupy yourself with your pets. If you don’t have them, you can watch funny kittens or puppies videos. Or any funny videos. I prefer wedding mishaps, but if watching weddings would sadden you, it is better to avoid them.
You can read cheerful books as well.
One thing that helps me the most is listening to inspiring interviews with world’s leading motivational speakers at least one hour a day. No, no, don’t give me that horse poop saying you can’t because you don’t have time. You can’t dupe me, you know. I’m doing it myself, so I know for sure it can be done. Just skip the TV and you will have all the time in the world.
You will benefit twice by doing so, too. Not only you will fill your mind with inspirational messages, but you will also stop filling it with terror, disasters, diseases, wars and violence. Because that is all you can see on mainstream media nowadays.
Here is an excerpt from my (very uplifting, if may I say) book 7 Daily Habits for Singles Not to Be Single Anymore, that stresses effects of such harmful content on you:
My beautiful reader, do you honestly think that sort of content doesn’t hurt your body or mind? Think again. As a research published in the British Journal of Psychology found out, participants who watched the negative TV news bulletins showed an increase in both anxious and sad moods, and also showed a significant increase in the tendency to catastrophize a personal worry. But not only that, there is a growing body of work suggesting that negative information has a much greater impact on individuals’ attitudes than does positive information.
So, if you feel anxious, discouraged, outraged, and depressed, you will also act accordingly. Is that attractive? Not really. You will only attract people who are feeling anxious, discouraged, outraged, or depressed themselves. Who wants to listen moaning and groaning anyway?
So, my lovely, are you willing to take that first step toward happier and more joyful you?